These lines from my favourite Shakespearean play just reach to my soul.Being an ordinary human or perhaps even below that,I have doubted the “love” fairly few times.In my own defense,in most times i have had more on my platter than i could handle.Not to mention people rubbing it in my face that I m a victim of fate.Also this doubt was more due to my own shortcomings than on behalf of the Creator.when I look at what has past in retrospect,I sometimes wonder if the friends and family had not rubbed it in my face that my folks are somehow dysfunctional,I may have been in a different place or….perhaps I would have ended just the same.I have taken after my mother in th that I knew nothing of composure or compromise.It is a hard earned lesson.I worked up my head over people and their callousness:I must tell you it got me nowhere.The thing about such a section of society is that they critique you and they can taste blood in their mouth by doing that.You stop handing them the satisfaction of affecting your peace of mind and they shall leave you be.Anyhow I did not know that and it is what drove me to draw pen as a shield against their tongue lashings.I think I owe them the discovery of the gift of words I never knew I could have.I always thought life is being unfair and that I m accursed,doomed to hell and I have no hope to make it here or hereafter.Life though teaches you lessons if it comes to push and shove.ultimately it draws you at your feet and fills you with the stoic resignation you thought you never had in you.you find it in you to aceept the challenges nd pain inflicting tragedies that come your way and know that Almighty “loves” you.i once readDAN BROWN’S Angels And Demons,a part of which fascinates me to-date and really puts the whole point more beautifully than I ever may hope to:
Chartrand had only been at the vatican a few months when he heard the story of the bomb that blew up the camerlengo’s mother before the kid’s very eyes.A bomb in church. . .and now it’s happening all over again.Sadly,the authorities never caught the bastards who planted the bomb. . .probably some anti-Christian hate group they said,and the case faded away.No wonder the camerlengo despised apathy.A couple months back,on a peaceful afternoon inside vatican city,Chartrand had bumped into the camerlengo coming across the grounds.The camerlengo had apparently Chartrand as a new guard and invited him to accompany him on a stroll.“May I ask you a strange question?” THe camerlengo smiled.“Only if I may give you a strange answer.”Chartrand laughed.“I have asked every priest I know,and I still don’t understand.””What troubles you?” THe camerlengo led the way in short,quick strideshis frock kicking out in front of him as he walked.His black crepe-sole shoes seemed befitting,humble and showing signs of wear.Chartrand took a deep breath“I don’t understand this omnipotent-benevolent thing.”The camerlengo smiled.“You’ve been reading Scripture.””I try.””You are confused because the bible describes God as an omnipotent and benevolent deity.””Exactly.””Omnipotent-Benevolent simply means that God is all-powerful and well-meaning.””I understand the concept.Its just. . .There seems to be a contradiction.””Yes.the contradiction is pain.Man’s starvation,war,sickness. . .””Exactly!”Chartrand knew the camerlengo would understand.“Terrible things happen in this world.Human tragedy seems like proof that God could not possibly be both all-powerful and Well-meaning.If He loves us and has the power to change our situation,He would prevent our pain,wouldn’t He?”The camerlengo frowned.“Would He?”Chartrand felt uneasy.Had he overstepped his bounds?Was this one of those religious questions you just didn’t ask?“Well..If God loves us,and He can protect us,He would have to.It seems he is either omnipotent and uncaring,or benevolent and powerless to help.””Do you have children,Lieutenant?”Chartrand flushed.“No,signore.””Imagine,you had an eight-year-old son…would you love him?””Of course.””Would you do everything in your power to prevent pain in his life?””Of course.””Would you let him skateboard?”Chartrand did a double take.The camerlengo always seemed oddly “in touch” for a clergyman.“Yeah,I guess,”Chartrand said.”Sure,I’d let him skateboard,but I’d tell him to be careful.””So,as a child’s father,you would give him some basic,good advice and then let him go off and make his own mistakes?””I wouldn’t run behind him and mollycoddle him if that’s what you mean.””But what if he fell and skinned his knee?””He would learn to be more careful.”The camerlengo smiled.“So although you have the power to interfere and prevent your child’s pain,you would choose to show your love by letting him learn his own lessons?””Of course.Pain is part of growing up.It’s how we learn.”The camerlengo nodded.“Exactly.”
I hope it inspires you the way it inspired me!