Poems..

I have a knack for poems
But words can fail to be loam
For saplings of feelings
That bear long lost leaflings
Of joy, desire, peace:wondering
If I drove them away–
Or you who didn’t stay:
So I sift through each day.
I have a knack for poems
Making my heartstrings strum
Each time receding into shadows
That haunt my self-more hollow
It all seems: i reap and I sow;
Asking for more and more
Yet feelings are meant to lure;
Charmingly destroying the cure.
I have a knack for poems
Poems that haunt my being.
I have a knack for poems
Poems that show unseen.
I have a knack for poems
Poems that slip words-
Leaving me still unsure.

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Crossroads…

Image courtesy: saldirupish.blogspot.com

My soul heeds

the advice

when water receeds

not:the dice

is thrown:the hand dealt

now the effects are fel

excruciating is the price

of your fickle caprice

Souls when wounded

take eons to heal

unike the corpse shredded

which they may seal.

Words flow out yet closure

comes not:Truths are obstinately obscure

Answers:a lifetime it may take t’procure..

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The Days of Innocence and Of Youth(oh!so different)!

Image courtesy: fineartamerica.com

Innocence paintings- Sweethearts by Frederick Morgan

Learning to play

yet I hopeless sway

about life:my vanity shook

Sitting near th’stream by brook

I think of days of innocence

When irrelevant was sense

only heart mattered:your

imagination was the ride

no conventions to abide

you could soar high

up in the clouds

and scream loud

your name and hear

how it sounds

up there

You reached

and captured the

little fireflies within fingers

and they would shun not

now light seems afar: grasp

seems impossible the task

It seems you have to do

with all that

is left

to do

Wait for wisdom.

And then your kingdom

can be with the world.

Diaspora (To all among us who hope to attain a better future overseas and in the struggle lose a piece of their souls).Inspired by a post of a fellow blogger a while ago who underwent this experience.

Image courtesy: shareyouraticles.wordpress.com

A while ago you rushed to leave:

prospects of fortunate future

waiting on the other side.

A while ago you thought less

of pollution,cows,dust,economy

excited by no drugdery

that seemed to cause misery

You thought to touch skies

and aspire to higher vistas..

Yet a moth to flame thee be

never tiring of burning

in ambition noticing

nada;you carve a niche

it feels hollow crevice

anticipated fulfillment

never comes.you fly home

Sweet scent of homeland sand hits

your nostrils;never knew what bits

you shall miss;A while it seems

you are here;yet it feels home

tis always been;a tear gleams

in thou eye;something is amiss

your cosmos is altered from

what hath been;home

is nowhere to be seen.

Struggling to find centre

semblance of control

exerted;staggering

losing yourself

hoping to chance

upon one glance

that sets all right

and ends thy plight;

the world put right.

soon it may come

your way;caught in bliss;

With a newfound joy

you shall set on your quest

a new spring in step

as life;it ‘never’ lets one rest!

Realizations and Rain!

The sneaky silhouette creeps in distance;

ensconced in nebulous fog no grievance

anymore bruises my heart:all is good

I am reminded:pines lining the path

pave ways for panacea of all ills:brood

I do,upon the bliss:beguiled imp hath

in the past,my reason.The lilac sky

enchants my errrors.Before my eye

the fog receeds:mountains appear

dark with profundity:beauty belie

it doth not.Benign breeze soothing fears

i see vistas novel to my vision

Tracing tardily the curves reverently

Cedars sway merrily;praising heartily

Never had my heart known such jejune joy

Rooted in deep hope they shall ever buoy

Predicament..

Poison surges through my veins….the irony of it being;multiple reasons.First and foremost being:I know it and not being able or perhaps assuming I can do nothing about it.At moments like these,I hate my guts.At times,I would be upfront about everything and voice my opinion. I appreciate or criticise and never flatter.I give hard truth but with the best of intentions and not to break someone’s heart.When it comes to my own life battles,I have fought bravely many a times,but I lay down arms at the worst of times.Desert my very soul in midst of open fire.When it comes to my family,I become a naive kid and the negative energy a friend tells me wisely so to deflect in life,coils me;crushing my insides.How can I bear with the betrayal in my mother’s eyes.She feels like a mother no more.I thought a mother’s love was unconditional, the only one untarnished by who you are or should be.She had long ago laid arms because of her broken marriage! I comforted her til….she became more and more distant.Today my eyes still burn from incessant unheeded tears,my head pounding with migraine yet she carelessly sleeps.How can dust settle on the years I rooted for her,despite the fact that she had little time to give to me since me and my brother were young!She now has transformed into another person who seeks to isolate me from her mortal enemy(my father) and consents to name my price(read:needs)I depend on parents for college money where I come from for various reasons.In the process she objectifies me.Today I got exasperated.I nearly topped the merit list hence I bickered with her to help my father in paying the dues.I know;a lot of people who must be calling me a freak of nature!Maybe,I am(judging by the depression spells that knock me cold despite my attempt at taking things positively),but I appeal to your good-nature;rethink,as you do not see the 20 year broad picture I have the view of.I do not want to victimise myself nor do I want to generate self sympathy or..for that matter,sympathy.I just want to vent out the negativity and see more clearly.I want better heads perhaps to pour some of their sense into my head so that I may see it from a fresh angle from people.Some of you may have been befallen by similar predicaments,have you not?I do not possess my source of endless courage and the person who stood up for me,anymore(my grandmother)!After her,I have learned or atleat tried to survive on my own.I have risen from ashes once,but moments like these bring me precariously close to the ditch:abyss I have lifted my torn spirit from.She is not my mother anymore!This has brought me on the edge of madness and hearing her call me crazy and worthy of a mental asylum is driving me nuts.I am dangerously close to falling below where I stood couple years ago,all I have learned about living life optimistically and in a contended fashion is slipping from my fingers.Go ahead and call me crazy, but unlike every journal entry and poem,today i am drained:devoid of any hopeful or positive foot note at the end of this note except that I am trying to take in a poem(On The Wings Of)  written by a fellow blogger 1heartsoundm.wordpress.com and friend in ways that matter and hoping to restore my balance bracing myself for another war,waging without and the repercussion more pivotally which ceaselessly wage on within me!

Letting Love In?!

Image courtesy geekytraveller.com

Image courtesy geekytraveller.com

Seeing a serene sun slanting

behind mighty mountains:

something shuns its chains;

inside me.Stretching

its arms-begins the qualms

strain of it sweats my palms

My conscience dumbfounded

The being rises;liberated

it takes liberty of searching

deepest drawers;beguiling

my heart-tempting it to attempt

loving like last!weeding unkempt

heart-removing cobwebs of doubt

Soul resists,resents, remembers

premonitions of past perplexities

Sauntering subtly:surrender

the being demands! Pros and cons;

of wearing heart on the sleeve 

told and re-told….to no gain:

repercussions of what bereave-

the soul-how suffered!no more pain

shall catch it offguard now!

Protected,it shall avoid,stay low

Falling from grace is not happening

Ne’er was soul closer to new beginnings